Remembering What We Wrestle

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

Planning a wedding draws out a variety of things -- nerves, busyness, a myriad of details, appointments, checklists. All fantabulous things. Also with these things may come a need to be patient, frustration, discouragement, confusion, etc.

I heard a friend say just yesterday that "relationships, I think are one of the most important things about life, but also probably the hardest." Would you agree with that? I certainly would. And nothing has taught me more about relationship, and its many facets, shapes, forms, dynamics, than this wedding planning season.

I met with a good friend a couple of weeks ago and she prompted me to remember Ephesians 6:12. She challenged me to recall this scripture moments of impatience or frustration or confusion; instead of leaping at the person in front of me, allowing all my mega-humanness to fire on them, remember this scripture and pray...

"Satan, I will not let you defeat me or cause me to sin by way of this person. I will not let you use them to discourage me, to burden me, to cause me to stumble, to forsake what I know is the God-honoring response here."

How powerful is that to remember? Our struggle is not against flesh and blood. It is not my sister, or my mom, or a stranger, it's sin. Don't give Satan a foothold.

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Ephesians 4:26-27

We're human, we become angry sometimes, it happens. But... Be angry, yet do not sin. I can be angry at the devil all day long, and trump him by responding to a difficult situation in a godly way, because I realize my fight is not with the actual person, but with sin and darkness.

I ask His Spirit inside me to quicken my attention in every instance, to help me be aware of what I'm truly wrestling with, and to give me the strength and faith to respond in a way that pleases God.

tomato and sausage pie

Skeptical? I probably was at first. I had this meal earlier in the summer when at the beach with J's family.

Last week I had the bright idea to make it for my family, including my Uncle P because he loves tomatoes. Grows them, gives them away, could eat them every day and never tire. Perfect combination!

Before I continue, I should say that I have never been a chef. Sure, I enjoy tasty things, but I have a relatively simple palate. So naturally, being in college and only being responsible for myself, my meals were super low-key.

But, I'm about to be a wife, and this growing desire to experiment and become more confident (not super confident, not Paula Deen, just more) in the kitchen, so I decided to cook this for the family.

And it was a hit! (For most. My sister wasn't a huge fan.)

Here are the deets:

Brown half a pound of sausage. Add a little olive oil in the bottom of the dish. Layer sliced tomatoes, then sausage, then another layer of tomatoes. I also added a layer of thinly sliced zucchini and a little cheese to the sausage mixture. On top is a cheese mixture -- whatever your heart desires. Mix in some mayo and a crushed garlic clove, some salt and pepper. If you're feeling super fresh, throw in some dried basil. I didn't completely cover the top, but there was relatively good surface coverage.



Bake it at 400 for about 20 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and bubbling. Include some French bread for dipping. Those of you who know tomatoes know why this item would be helpful. And voila! Tomato and sausage pie.

I'll admit I was a proud of myself (thus the sharing) and super happy 90% of the crowd liked it.

Hold on to Delight

“You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.” Michael Pritchard

The potential for something really sad to happen occurs as we grow up. Somewhere along the way from footie pajamas to adulthood, we lose not only our baby teeth, but also our whimsy — our ability to dream or take chances.

Kids don’t need to be told to delight. They don’t need to be told that they can do anything they want or that the world is marvelous or that blanket forts are the best kind of past-time. They don't have to be told to enjoy sweets when they're treated to them, or to use their imagination with simply toys. Somewhere along the path to adulthood a lot of that has the tendency to get lost.

Adventures are replaced with lists, love is replaced with pressure (after all, everyone else is married) and our dreams are replaced with a watered down, tiresome version - what everyone else thinks is realistically possible for you to do.

We’re told to grow up and to take things seriously, which is important in the right context! Don't get me wrong; but when “serious” just doesn’t have to happen, why would we want it to? The world that we live in is a place that is overflowing with delight and beauty and things to enjoy. It's far to easy to let that reality get squashed with all the bad things that happen today. If you are a Christian, I say this: God is Sovereign. We are only passing through this time, eternity with Him is our real home. So I encourage you not to get bogged down, weighed down, by the negativity in the world. Trust the Lord, He is present with you. And I think He calls us to love and joy and dancing.

As an adult, we get to roam freely in places that are so full of lovely things — things just waiting to be played in, tested out and explored. We have the freedom, but we don’t always take advantage of it. Each day, we must choose between delight and whimsy, and wearing our responsibilities heavily on our chest (and our faces). 

The death of our hopes and dreams is not necessarily a rite of passage. It doesn’t have to be that way. Responsibility and being able to rent a car doesn’t have to come at the price of joy and whimsy and dancing when the moment is right (or even when it’s not). We don't have to ditch a lighthearted attitude as we go about the seemingly mundane and "adult" things on our plate. The ability to use your imagination, or try a new recipe for dinner (much like building a fort would be), or exploring a new side of town in search of a good dessert.

While we shouldn’t abandon maturity or a refuse to take responsibility, the world does not need to become dark and cold and start to resemble a constant board meeting. I have to believe that the "fullest life" that comes with Jesus doesn't mean that. No, it doesn't mean you ignore what you are accountable to, it may just mean that you try not to lose a childlike joy of living. No matter how old we get, we should still be able to see that cozy, matching pajamas are the very definition of cozy and that blanket forts are the best way to spend a Saturday morning.

The truth is, joy and laughter and sleepovers with our best friends aren’t things that have to be traded in with your braces. Thick, pressing, adult responsibility does not have to steal your ability and desire to dance in the kitchen, take a weekend adventure, or use your imagination in creative ways. The world is beautiful and fun, and life has the chance to be so full. I can’t think of a better way to enjoy it than to walk around with dreams in my head, a song in my heart, cake in my hair and shoes left far behind. 

Rediscover what you delight in.

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Living Fitness

All too often, fitness is looked at as a chore. Another task to check off on our ever-growing to-do list. Something we dread. Something we avoid. Something we feel pressure to do and to perfect.  This is what being fit and healthy used to mean to me. It was an expectation, an obligation, not something I gained any kind of life from.

I have come a long way since graduating two months ago from Georgia Southern. For those who don't know my story, the cheat sheet version is this... I went to GS on a track scholarship, hurdles. I had broken my foot a months before my first semester so I didn't compete my first year. I then competed a little bit my sophomore year, stayed involved and trained most of my junior year, and did nothing regarding track and field my senior year. Those first three years included 4 surgeries on the same foot, putting in and taking out stabilizing metal, etc. Naturally, the joy of exercising had been overrun by the idea that I had to be a certain way, look a certain way, be strong enough, to keep up with the others on my team. I was always playing catch-up because of the many surgeries, so exercise became a mechanical chore.

And I was borderline miserable.

What I have learned in the weeks since getting completely out from under that perspective, since I wasn't around the team, or the sadness I couldn't compete, is that true fitness is not a burden but a way of life. True fitness has nothing to do with six-pack abs or the ability to run a marathon.

It’s having the endurance to keep going when all we want to do is stop.
It’s having the strength to get through difficult times.
It’s having the discipline to push ourselves further and harder than we ever thought possible.

Fitness doesn’t happen overnight, but as Pete Magil wrote in the Running Times,

"[Fitness] appears while you’re living it."

I had to stop thinking about it as a negative thing. If running 2 miles seemed awful, I didn't force myself to do it. I'd go for a long walk instead. Fitness is something we get to do. Something that makes us better people. Something that allows us to enjoy our life more fully. Sure, others may benefit from it — our partners, our children — but at the end of the day, fitness is something that we own. It's like a gift we can give ourselves. Something that has the opportunity to positively impact so many other areas of our life.

So, how can you make it a wonderful part of your life? Here are my two cents:

Figure out what you love to do.

Think back to your childhood. Figure out what made you happy and find something to reignite that feeling of play. Experiment and don’t be embarrassed. You won’t be be the best (or maybe even good) on your first try but remember — everyone had a first day. Go for it. Being there and just trying is enough. Spinning is great for my foot, not a lot of pressure, so I attend a spin class a couple times a week. Upbeat music, energetic 'leaders,' I really like it.

Schedule the time.

After figuring out what you love, make the time to enjoy it. Block it off on your calendar. It’s the best way to ensure you’ll actually do it. Fitness is just as important as a dentist appointment or business meeting. If you enjoy it, you'll want to prioritize it. I am a morning person. It's when I feel most productive, it's when I have the most energy, so I get up early in the morning and take some sort of class at the YMCA next door to my office. I love having that quiet car ride to the gym for some me-time, and watching the sunrise is always a perk.

Give yourself a break.

You’re not perfect — you’re human. If you can’t convince yourself to get out of bed or drive to the gym, your body could be telling you to slow down. So listen. For today. If you allow yourself leeway, you’re less likely to burn out and hate working out. I always take Fridays off, so I'll try and spend the morning with someone. Breakfast with Dad, getting ready conversation with Mom, etc.

Fit fitness into your every day.

One of the hardest parts about making fitness a priority is feeling you have to give up something else. But that doesn’t have to be the case.  Join a local running group to meet new people. Watch your favorite show on the stationary bike. Do crunches and pushups during commercial breaks. Take a look at your current schedule and see how you can integrate fitness into your day-to-day.

Throw out the scale.

I used to judge my fitness by a number, and it held me captive. Rigid, no grace, no enjoyment. When I did this, fitness was a means to an end. It was no longer a priority — losing 5 or 10 pounds is.  But true fitness has nothing to do with weight. A number should never dictate how we feel but being able to hold a plank for a minute (and then two and then three) and being able to climb several flights of stairs without being out of breath — those are worthy accomplishments. Embrace those. Live those.

Living fitness is feeling strong. It helps make life rich. Yes, it makes you feel good. But it's not to be used to compare yourself to someone else, it's what you want it to be. It took me a lot of grace -- from God, to myself -- to get here, but I'm thankful this is where I have landed. And I'll share it with everyone I meet.

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weekend crushing...

Some internet wandering for your Saturday.... 

I mean, if you can’t make the real leap– go temporary but stylish.

This company — and their mission — steal my heart.

As if I need another reason to love grilled cheese sandwiches, make it a breakfast item.

Great products, and you can send sweet kids to school.

A ridiculously sweet print. Maybe have to doodle this somewhere.

If my future husband liked coffee, I would buy him this mug.

It's a classic appetizer, might as well have fun with it. Great for summertime.

In my daydreams as a future wife-chef, I'm always wearing something like this. Hmm..