A Letter To Myself From 2010.

 

My mom sent me a picture of this piece of paper. After looking at it and weaving through a fog of memories, I do remember being asked before my high school graduation to write a letter to myself. Turns out my high school still has them, and mailed them out to the parents of each student. (Pretty cool, I think)

What I wrote, months before I would graduate from the school I'd been attending for 10 years, before I would leave the comfort of being in a place where everyone knew me, where I had grown so much, was that in five years....

"I plan to be graduated from college." Check. (Actually did it in four, glory to the Lord.)

"I would like to try and compete at the Olympic level." Didn't happen. Foot injury forced me out of collegiate track and field. I'll admit that this one stung my heart some. But, I trust God in His love and sovereignty; He is bigger and so are His plans for me.

"I want to be stronger in my faith and my walk with the Lord than I am today." Check. I have never felt so near to Him, and by His grace I have grown and matured in the things of His Word.

"And God-willing, I want to be on the way to starting a life with the guy God has planned for me." In faith, I say check. I think my relationship with J is in a wonderful place, rich in love and learning and growth. He's the man that will continually direct me to Jesus, who loves me, and he's the man I choose everyday.

"Remember: Some people are to be around always, some are to always make appearances." How did I know that a piece of inspiration like this would be so relevant to this season of my life. How did I know that remembering this, even if the reality is hard, would bring such comfort. It also calls for an element of trusting Jesus - to be my hope and my peace and my everything - during such a time of change and transition.

"My foot is broke and I'm in a cast. How will I react?" Mmm. Who knew that would only be the beginning to such a trying season for me. How did I react? I struggled deeply at first, after my first surgery freshman year, experiencing a slight depression. After that I was still motivated, still ready to fight. I worked hard, only to be stunted with the need for three more surgeries over a span of 3.5 years. After the third one (3 out of 4) I was weary, and went through a weird season of not knowing where my true identity was found. By His grace, the One who unconditionally loves my human soul reminded me that in Him is where it is found. Here I am today, giving myself grace, reminding myself to be patient, rediscovering my love for running, and trusting Him to be that which fills my entire life.

For all [these] things are [taking place] for your sake, so that the more grace (divine favor and spiritual blessing) extends to more and more people and multiplies through the many, the more thanksgiving may increase [and redound] to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 4:15

 

Senior Portfolio: Check.

This past weekend was the Senior Portfolio Reveal for our graphic design program. The fruit of over 10 months of design work and brainstorming, of super late nights and lots of planning. It's hard to believe the gallery show has come and gone, beginning my last week of undergrad classes.



It was such a special night, I was so amazed. I felt a pleasant pride seeing my work up on the wall and then hearing visitors' positive remarks. I felt so loved by how many friends came to see me, to support me, because they know how big of a deal it was for me. I felt so thankful to the Lord for getting me to the day, strong and confident.



Icing on the cake was my best friend since 2nd grade sending me flowers from Macon! Let's just say my heart was smiling and my tear ducts were active.



A couple of my lovely small group gals came to see and support, along with so many others. They came, they hugged, they told me they were proud of me. And of course, it wouldn't have been the same without John there. The entire night was one I will never forget.

This is the gang! All done and too excited about it.

 

Koozies + Lists

A cool part about being in college and being a designer is some of the resources you get to utilize. We had the chance to order koozies and print our own personal designs on them, via a heat press.



It's a cool process. You print your design on this fancy special paper and tape the koozie to the inked side. The press "cooks" it for about a minute and... happy koozie!



I confess I'm excited to give these puppies out.

Something also characteristic of these past few weeks: lists.

I am the type of human being that claims, "if it isn't written down, it doesn't exist." My brain is having to be stretched in so many different directions, needed all kinds of equal attention.

Behold.. there's an app for that.





This app has helped me in heaps. So if you're anything like me, I encourage you to try it.

My graduating exit show is tomorrow night. I can hardly believe it.

Too Much Talking

I've been personally challenged lately to not talk so much. Being an expressive human being, sometimes I feel as though I lack self control or that I'm impulsive with my words. Not that they are ugly words, but are they necessary words?

Are they good for building up? Do they fit the occasion? Do they give grace to those who hear? (Ephesians 4:29)

Some words that are good for building up are hard to say. Some words that are necessary take some prayerful guidance. Some words that fit an occasion may be simple, or short, or lengthy. My heart here is to say that I don't want to waste words. I don't want to be so expressive that I don't get other the chance to speak or think, or arrive at their own conclusions.

The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse. Proverbs 10:31-32

I desire my mouth to bring forth wisdom. Paired with my spirit and my mind, to be conscious and wise: when to speak, when to listen. Not to utter the first thing that comes to mind. Oftentimes wisdom means being silent. Oftentimes wisdom means speaking up. Oftentimes wisdom even means simply wait, be patient.

I pray, set a guard, Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

I am learning the power and sacredness of words.

I tell you, on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. Matthew 12:36-37

I confess I think I've been careless with my speech. Not in a way that is hurtful or ugly, but in a way that is robbing me the joy of being quiet, of truly listening, of giving the Holy Spirit a chance to lead.

Her mouth speaks that which fills her heart. Luke 6:45

"A critical heart produces a critical tongue. A self-righteous heart produces a judgmental tongue. A bitter heart produces an acerbic tongue. An ungrateful heart produces a grumbling tongue. But a loving heart produces a gracious tongue. A faithful heart produces a truthful tongue. A peaceful heart produces a reconciling tongue. A trusting heart produces an encouraging tongue." Jon Bloom

Just an observation. Just a reflection. But a prayer for change indeed....

Easter 2014

Started the day with my childhood church family and ended it with my Connection family. 

Day of humbling, of glorifying, of enjoying...

Jesus at the heart of it all.

- ps the picture i got with mom was blurry. boo.